U.S. Patent Pending

When I was a kid we'd drive up to Prescott for the weekend to visit my grandparents. Grandma would make "hotcakes" and bacon and scrambled eggs for breakfast, which Grandpa said would stick to my ribs. This was apparently a quality to be desired in a meal. The other day in the cereal aisle of the grocery store, I overheard a child ask his father for a particular cereal. The father declined to purchase it for his son, reminding him of a previous incident where the child had spilled cereal on the floor, failed to clean it before it dried, requiring a sledge hammer to remove said stuck-on cereal to the trashcan. I could only smile. I too have had the unfortunate task of trying to remove dried-on cereal from a tabletop without taking off the finish. We recently toured cliff dwellings that have survived thousands of years of weathering. I can't help but think that if they had been made of Life cereal, they wouldn't be in ruins today. If the homes in New Orleans had been built out of Life, Katrina wouldn't have stood a chance against them. If cars were made of dried Life cereal, the death tolls from automobile accidents would dramatically decrease. Indeed, I'm thinking of producing a new material for building space shuttles that would be able to withstand the high temperatures of re-entry, weighs little, and is available at relatively low cost, made of -you guessed it- Life Cereal.